failure to communicate

I'm not sure what to do. I've been dating this guy for a couple of months. I met him through an online dating site. We talked on and off for over 2 months before we ever met. He's quiet, stable, has a good job, hyper dog like mine, and comes from similar background. We've been going out once a week now, every week since we met. We both work nights and are off most of the same nights, but not quite. He lives about 1/2 hr from me and knows my area really well as he used to live right down the road from my house.
So whats the problem? I'm not sure how he feels about me. He is not one to call or text a bunch. He's just not that talkative. He's told me many times that he's just not good at calling and texting and for me to call or text him. He's not a planner, he does stuff spur of the moment. I am a planner and this bothers me when our weekend plans are made either the night before or that day. Like me he does most of his sleeping during the day, but I think when he is off, he sleeps more than I do. I only let myself sleep a few hours and then do the zombie act for the rest of the day, in the hopes I will sleep that night. I call it converting over to dayshift and I do it a couple of times a week.

When he's over, he is very attentive. I get good backrubs, smooches and hugs. He's a little slow advancing any further. (I haven't made up my mind if I should take the lead here...is that too slutty.) Anyway, last weekend he was going to come over on Saturday and join me and my daughter for dinner. This was after I saw him on Friday. I got a text from him saying his chewed off a valve in the bathroom and he had to fix the leak first. Then later I got another text saying he had to go to Home Depot. Then nothing. Finally, I sent him a text asking what was going on. No answer for awhile so determined for an answer I called. Oh, couldn't fix the pipe, special fitting, need special tool. Guess can't come after all. Hmmmmm.

I stewed on this awhile and sent him an email later, always being braver and more likely to stick my foot in my mouth with written words. I told him that it hurt my feelings that I had to call him to find out he wasn't coming over. I told him that usually when you don't hear from guys its because they don't want to talk to you...they are not interested. I said, I like you and enjoy being with you but I'm not not sure how you feel. I can't read your mind, I need some communication. You're not communicating is sending me a message, too. A bad one. Do you want me to leave you be? He called but I was in bad state and didn't want to answer the phone (one of those fuckin hormone crying episodes that I really didn't want him privy to). So I let it ring. He answered my email and said he thought about me all night and really wanted to see me but he just wasn't feeling good, couldn't get moving, and time got away from him. He said he thought he sent a text but it was saved in drafts and didn't go out. He always said to please be patient with him. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH I know I need to be patient. I HATE being patient. I also don't want to blow it with him. I don't think I'm being unreasonable but I just don't know.

what national healthcare gets us

What do we give up with National Healthcare? here's one thing from a Canadian

goodbyes

Sometimes you just have to say goodbye and walk away. Even when it makes you sad.
A guy that's been in and out of my life for the past year got the Big Muah......been nice knowing ya kid. I like him, too much and its not returned. He's one of these, lets be friends kind of guy. I've gotten mixed signals from him or maybe I'm mixed up and wouldn't know a signal if it slapped me across the face. I won't hear from him for awhile, and write him off, then here comes an email. I was telling him I wanted to try skydiving and wondered where he went. He offered to go with me to another city for moral support. I had also asked him when he was going to take me for a ride on his bike. He told he would have to get permission, from his girlfriend. Huhh? He'd go with me to another city and jump out of an airplane with me but have to check with the gf for an in town bike ride? He's the type guy that tries to devote himself to one woman at a time....however, I'm still wondering why he was emailing me if he was so devoted.
Anyway, I told him last night I didn't want to hear from him when he was otherwise attached . I've known him long enough to see him through several of those attachments. I don't wanna see no more. Its no good for me. I believe in the saying that you should surround yourself with people that make you feel good, that bring good into your life and avoid those that make you feel bad. Lifes too short to hang with the bad. Right now, he's own the bad side of the equation so Adios.

charge nurse with ADD

Worked last couple of nights with one of least favorite nurses, and she was charge. She is a hyperactive, disorganized, loud mouthed nurse that kicks herself and the whole unit into a frenzy. She thrives on drama. If there is none, she will make it. She is a single parent of a teenage son who has a learning disorder. Guess what? Yep, ADD...just like momma. Note to self: never ever be exposed to her whole family. It would be chaos.
Let me give you an idea of what it is like to work with this human tornado. She will yell out of a room, Hey Sallysue, Get me an IV start kit and a couple of 20 gauges. You say, OK and stop what you are doing and go across the room to supply room...when she just about plows you down, getting it herself. This happens all the time. She yells out for somebody to help her and then runs them down doing it herself. I try to ignore her most of the time; as helping her is an exercise in futility. She had our poor PCT running in circles last night. Poor guy didn't know what hit him.
I was helping another nurse get some blood started last night and I need a dynamap. There was one outside Ms. Charge's room so I inquired, Are you done with the dynamap? She said, Yes you can have it. Then she said, No I'm going to need it. As I've crossed the floor to get another dynamap, She's saying, You can have it, I'll get another. With me saying, I've already got another one Ms. Charge, it's ok, you keep that one.

Jeez, everything was mad cap, dash here, dash there. Glad to be off for a few. Please please ole great and mighty schedule master, please spare me from Ms. Charge's frenzy..make anybody else charge.

chickens

Thinking about getting some chickens. They'd be great for making on the spot fertilizer for my garden. haha can't imagine what my island neighbors would think of me having a chicken coop. I'm sure a rooster would be prohibited or shot on the spot. I couldn't let them run loose in the yard. My dogs would be chasin' chickens every time I let them out. Not to mention my kitty...now he would be thinking, mmmm chicken....I'll just dine in tonight.
I had chickens once. I had some red ones, a black one, a red rooster and a little bantam speckled chicken. It cost us more to feed them than it cost to buy eggs but we had a great garden. Some local folks have started a chicken club on facebook. In it they talked about what vets you could take your chicken to and how to humanely euthanize a chicken. They'd freak if they saw my grandma wring ones neck or chop its head off and watch it go running down the yard before it fell over.

monsoon season and the garden is growing

Damn, it's getting hot here. I planted my garden on Good Friday and thought I'd have to water it because it was so dry. Then the monsoons hit.











Real palmetto pounding rain that lasted, heck I dunno, couple of weeks. My garden shot up like crazy, so did the weeds. Picked some green beans, okra, tomatoes, jalapenos, and squash this morning. mmmm can't wait for the big tomatoes to get ripe and make myself a juicy mater samich.

sick magnet

Something about being a nurse attracts sick guys. At least in my age bracket. Let's see...I've had dates with triple bypasses, end stage copd, kidney/liver disease, and various other recovering surgeries. I did not meet any of these guys at work. Truthfully, we met online. But I'm wondering if while they were in the hospital they had fantasized about their nurses and then carried that fantasy to moi. Most of them do not fess up to their health problems until after I have met them and inquired about their sob (for those non nursey types I mean shortness of breath), or various skin coloring such as pale gray, bright pink, or dreaded the yellow cast. Maybe someone with a medical background just doesn't notice those kind of things. I'll admit it. I'm an obsessive assessor. I'll see people out and about and notice, oh that one can't breathe good he looks like COPD, or that one is all puffy heart problems?, or that one appears to be drinker - noticing the ascites or yellow cast to skin. Has nursing ruined my innocence or saved my ass from trouble?